The Ladybug

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  • Welcome to The Ladybug 2026: My 3 Goals for the New Year! 

    Welcome to The Ladybug 2026!  If you are already a reader of my blog, thank you, and if you are new, here is a little bit of what to expect for the new year!  The themes for The Ladybug in 2025 were: Religion, Politics, and Lifestyle.  I wrote 33 posts during 2025, including an introduction.  In addition, I wrote, “Gaelle’s World,” so that my readers could learn a little about me and my motivations for the blog content.  So, let’s talk about what to expect this year as I write out my 3 personal goals.  These are not “resolutions,” they are goals.  The difference in my eyes is that the word resolution implies that something in life needs to be fixed, and for me, goals implies that I am simply adding some new exciting guides to my lifestyle.  The Ladybug, therefore, will still include themes of religion and politics, but I will not limit myself to those topics.  I would like to expand my lifestyle posts to discuss any content that I feel passionate about as the world continues to spin and change around us.   

    So, ready?  Here goes: 

    Goal 1) Increase time with God and connection to the Spirit of light and love.  I find that I can only survive life’s harsh realities and difficulties with the help of a Higher Power.  I cannot weather the journey alone.  Last year, I described myself as a “Progressive Christian,” but now I am not sure which label for my faith in God is best.  With the rise of the Christian Nationalist movement in the USA, I am uncomfortable to use the term Christian for fear that people will think that I have a right-wing political affiliation.  This could not be further from the truth, as I am a left-leaning liberal, and more and more I agree with the socialist Democrats such as AOC and Bernie Sanders.  The core of my faith is the belief that I must be the hands and feet of Jesus to those in need in a hurting world, and that includes the poor and those who are immigrants.  I believe that strength comes from God, not from myself, and so daily devotions that include guided meditations, Bible reading, and journal time are crucial.  If I want to spread love, I must first infuse myself with the love of Jesus.  Devotional time is like an oxygen mask to me, and after I put it on, I can then help others. 

    Goal 2) Learn how to rest in a healthy way.  As I have written previously on The Ladybug, I struggle with a multitude of chronic illnesses, the most difficult of which are hEDS (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Hypermobile subtype) and Bipolar Disorder, Type 2.  I like to go, go, go, but then my body collapses, and I am quite literally bedridden.  In addition, when I have too much stress, my anxiety soars, and then I must have medication adjustments for my psychiatric meds.  Trust me, neither of these circumstances is fun.  However, I see two different therapists, one for my physical-health problems, and one for my mental-health problems, and they both told me at the end of the year 2025 that I must focus on learning the art of rest. This news was not welcome to my ears, because I am someone who is extroverted and loves to be busy.  Whether it is helping my local church, doing college coursework, or participating in charity walks such as 5k’s, this girl likes to aim for the stars.  However, the universe is quite literally telling me to slow down.  So, I am going to attempt in the new year to build in “rest days,” and learn to take better care of myself. 

    Goal 3) Live a simpler lifestyle, including decreasing my material possessions.  At the current moment, I feel like I am drowning in “stuff.”  This must end.  I need to practice what I preach with regard to my faith.  I have never wanted to be rich, and I feel choked by how many material goods I own.  Jesus called His disciples in the Bible to a simple life following Him, and I would like to live the same way.  I need to clean, de-clutter, and donate what is clogging my world.  Quality family and friend time are much more important to me than having many goods to hold onto.  I plan to discuss further my successes and struggles with simplifying my life in posts on The Ladybug, so stay tuned!   

    Well, readers, there are some of my thoughts as I enter the new year, as well as some of the themes that you can expect me to write about in 2026 in the blog.  I encourage reader participation, so please leave comments and feedback either here on WordPress, or on my social media pages (Facebook: Gaelle McLoud or Instagram: @gaellemcloud and Substack: @gaellemcloud). If you tune into my Instagram account, which is public, you can see a little more of how I live my life day-to-day.  I hope that you will join me in the adventure of 2026!  

    PS: This is the year I turn 40 years old! My birthday is in October 2026, so join me as I celebrate the adventure all year long! 🙂 

  • Pet Therapy: Something to be Thankful For! 

    Welcome to my first holiday post of the year!  I realize that the holidays can be stressful for many people, and so my intention with this post is to offer a little relief from some loveable creatures.  From my earliest days, I have been an animal lover, and I would like to reflect on some of my experiences with pets throughout my life who meant the world to me.  Unfortunately, there are so many animals that have made me smile, that I just cannot list them all.  But here is a sampling to make you smile, too! 

    Let us begin with Blackie, also known as my big brother!  My parents adopted a soft, black, sweet dog when I was about 7 years old, and I named him Blackie.  For an only child, he was everything.  My playmate, my comfort, my safe space, my troublemaker…I could go on.  Blackie lit up my adventures as a young child, and I felt like I had the best brother a girl could rely on.  By the time Blackie was getting grey and a bit sickly, I had already begun to refer to him as my “fur baby love of my life.”  Blackie lived to be about 13 years old, but I swear he lives on in my dreams even to this day.  God has him busy in doggy heaven as my constant protector still!  It makes my heart warm just to remember him. 

    Next, let us visit Ben…or as I liked to call him, Big Ben.  In this blog, The Ladybug, I have mentioned before that I rode horses when I was younger and that I still consider myself to be a “barn girl.”  Ben was a horse I leased from a very special woman, and with a very special trainer, when I was about 17 and 18 years old.  He was huge and, honestly, a bit much for me in both size and temperament.  But he was sweet, and I would creep into his stall after my lessons on him and cuddle with his soft ears, kiss his face, and tell him what a good boy he was.  Ben taught me an invaluable lesson in life: that being challenged can sometimes be exactly what you need.  Ben may have been the most difficult horse for me to ride as far as my skills are in the saddle, but he also became my favorite horse of all time.  My memories of him at the barn are still my “happy place” whenever I need to envision a moment of calm.  Never turn away from something big! 

    I could give each of my cats a full column of their own, because I loved them all so much.  However, I also want to end with a few words about my current fur baby.  So, I will simply say that cats are a whole other adventure from dogs and horses, and I love them just as much!  I have had 3 cats: Maddie, Ella, and Smokey.  Unfortunately, they are all in kitty heaven now, but each one brought something special into my life.  Cats are the rulers in the household, and we are lucky to serve them, ha-ha.  I hope that someday I may encounter another kitty to serve, but for now, my babies also still visit me in my sleep, bouncing around and calling all the shots! 

    Finally, let me speak for a moment about my current main man, Mickey.  He is technically my parents’ dog, and the three of us refer to him affectionately as “Mouse.”  We were gifted Mouse in 2019, and he is so affectionate and sweet.  I have already included his photo in so many blog posts on The Ladybug!  However, this is due to the large part of my heart that he holds.  I no longer have a pet of my own in my separate apartment.  So, when I stay with my parents, being around Mouse is a nice added bonus.  I can get my needed pet therapy time!  

    And pet therapy can be extremely beneficial.  While I have only showcased a few animals here, there have been many that I could smile and say made my life a little sweeter.  It is a privilege that animals let us live alongside them and come into our hearts and homes to make a family complete.  Do not take your animal(s) for granted! If you are having a bad day, scratch your cats’ ears, take your dog for a walk, gently approach your horse, or generally enjoy the company of whichever little creature you have made friends with.  Love your animals, and they will return that affection with a love that no human could reflect, because it is innocent and unconditional.   

    So, if you need something to be thankful for during the holidays this year, begin by thanking your pets.  And whisper a little prayer of gratitude to God for granting you the gift of them in your life!  Have a blessed Thanksgiving readers in the USA who are preparing to celebrate.  And enjoy some of my animal photos below. 

    With Gratitude and Love, G. 

    Blackie Dog, playing in the snow!

    Big Ben and me, around 2005!

    Me and my first cat, Maddie, around 2014.

    Recent photo of Mouse in his bed, so cute!

    https://secure.aspca.org/

    Follow the link to the ASPCA for resources and support! (Not sponsored!)

  • Loving the Stranger

    The Ladybug 32 

    Wednesday, November 12, 2025 

    Hello Readers!  Today I feel inspired to share a sermon I delivered approximately a year and a half ago at my local NH church.  However, this sermon seems particularly relevant to repeat, given that our country is currently struggling with a sinking economy, and many families are having trouble making ends meet.  Homelessness can quickly become a reality for anyone, anytime, and I have faced housing insecurity personally.  I also wanted to share this message because, while this sermon focuses on the homeless population, I believe that the spirit of it could also be applied to immigrants.  The atmosphere in the USA regarding immigrants is at best described as tense, and the way that they are treated by the people in power is downright despicable.  Therefore, I encourage you to imagine both the words “homeless” and “immigrant” in your mind’s eye while you read my words below.  God calls us to love, and you will find practical advice as to ways of loving marginalized groups among us if you continue reading!

    By: Gaelle McLoud 

    Sunday, March 17, 2024 

    Based on:   New Testament: Matthew 22: 34-40  

           Old Testament: Leviticus 19: 33-34 

    Message 

                Let the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.  Amen.   

    I would like to begin by highlighting from the first scripture reading for us this morning, Matthew 22: 34-40, the second commandment that Jesus gives: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  On the surface, this may seem like a simple commandment.  One might think, of course I love those around me, my friends, and my family, including my church family.  However, let us dig a little deeper.  What if your neighbor was smelly and dirty?  What if your neighbor was a drug addict?  What if your neighbor was living a life opposite to yours, a life you could not even imagine?  Would you still be willing to love your neighbor?  Today, I am going to focus on our neighbors who are homeless.   

                You might be wondering why I chose the passage from Leviticus this morning, and be curious as to the relationship to the homeless.  “When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them.  The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born.  Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt.  I am the Lord your God.” Leviticus 19: 33-34. The Leviticus passage refers to our neighbors who are, “aliens,” or, “foreigners.”  One of the Google definitions of foreigner is, “a person not belonging to a particular place or group; a stranger or outsider.”  Certainly, one could think of homeless people as not belonging to a particular place, and many consider them to be strangers and outsiders.  And yet, in Leviticus as well as in Matthew, God commands us to love them.    

                Here is how I began to love my homeless neighbors.  In early 2017, I started attending a new church located in Charlton, Massachusetts.  I prayed to God to direct me towards His will, and I felt a strong calling on my heart to minister to the homeless.  I thought about how I might get involved with mission work, and I remembered that my dad had been connected to a church called the Worcester Fellowship.  The Worcester Fellowship is an outdoor church located in Worcester, Massachusetts that meets every Sunday afternoon, no matter what the weather, to provide a Christian worship service, and brown bag lunches and men’s white crew socks to the homeless population.  Their mission statement is: Worcester Fellowship is dedicated to ending isolation by nurturing community and providing pastoral care. We welcome everyone, we are an outdoor church, we reach out to homeless and at-risk adults and we believe God loves us now.  I attended a Worcester Fellowship Service for the first time in the spring of 2017, and felt transformed and brought alive by the experience.  God’s love and light were palpable at the service.  I spoke to my home church in Charlton, and we signed up to begin donating brown bag lunches and men’s white crew socks to the Worcester Fellowship on every other month throughout the year. The pictures on the power point are of a Worcester Fellowship gathering on the common in Worcester, Massachusetts, on Christmas Eve 2017.   

                Many people think of the homeless population as set apart, and have trouble connecting to them.  However, anyone, anytime can become homeless.  There are many reasons for homelessness, including job loss, PTSD due to military service, or high medical bills that lead to eviction when one cannot pay their rent.  This could be you.  It was almost me.  Let me tell you a true story from my own life.  When I was quite young, 20 years old, I had dropped out of college due to health problems, and I had no money and nowhere to live except with my parents back at their home.  I faced the reality of becoming homeless, though, because I was not sober, and my parents did not want me to live with them when I was an active alcoholic.  I had to decide to try to get sober and attend AA meetings, or else I was on the streets.  I will never forget how close I came to homelessness.   

                In addition to my own experience with housing insecurity, I have learned a lot about homeless persons while volunteering with the Worcester Fellowship.  Here is a question for us to ponder: What can we as Christians do to show God’s love and mercy to the homeless population?  Here are three answers to that question that we can all employ when we interact with those who are homeless or disadvantaged.   

                First, show compassion.  One of the best ways to show God’s compassion to others is to simply listen to them.  Start up a conversation with someone who may be out of your comfort zone and listen to them talk about their life and their experiences.  This action will go a long way towards making the person feel loved.  Consider carrying Dunkin gift cards to offer to those who are begging when you see them. 

                Second, treat the homeless as equals.  Do not be afraid of those who are different from you.  For example, during a Worcester Fellowship service there is a time for the passing of the peace of Christ, as with many church services.  It is important to walk right up to your neighbor and wish them God’s peace and shake their hand.  When you see a homeless person on the street holding up a sign, make eye contact with them and smile and if they ask you for something, offer the Dunkin gift card you have been carrying with you.  God loves all His children equally, and we need to mirror that love. 

                Third, Christians must challenge societal norms that dictate that we must ostracize and exile those who are different and suffering.  Jesus set the example for us with the way he lived his life.  Jesus associated with tax collectors and prostitutes, in other words, sinners and those cast out by society.  Jesus healed and touched lepers, as well as saved and loved all of us, despite our circumstances.  Welcome those who are homeless and disadvantaged to your church, and pray for ways that you can improve their lives for the better.  One way that this church loves the homeless is by collecting money to purchase socks for them, and this gift can go a long way towards brightening someone’s day. 

                Jesus calls us to love each other, let us change the world one act of love at a time.  Amen. 

    Thank you for reading!  I have included the links for The Worcester Fellowship, as well as a local NH homeless advocacy group called Hundred Nights.  Please pray about how you may support them!  Also: The photos are from a Worcester Fellowship gathering in 2017, which is referenced in the sermon.  

    God Bless and Good Health, G. 

    Worcester Fellowship

    hundrednightsinc.org

  • Perfectionism Part 3: Body Image Ideals in America are Harmful 

    Dear readers, I am aware that discussing any aspect of body image can be potentially triggering, especially to those individuals diagnosed with eating disorders.  I, myself, was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa at age 20, after starting to display symptoms in my late teen years.  Due to my own experiences, I will endeavor to make this article sensitive to those who struggle.  However, I want everyone to honor their own boundaries with the topic.  With that spirit in mind, let us start to talk… 

    One of the most freeing phrases that I ever heard during my eating disorder recovery journey was: your body is not a project.  I have always felt a great deal of pressure my whole life to micro-manage my appearance, especially my weight.  I used to wear heavy make-up, dye my hair, follow all the latest fashions of dress, and starve my body.  In the USA, women who identify as cis-gender females are placed under a huge amount of pressure to groom ourselves into oblivion, even to go so far as to consume diet pills and under-go plastic surgery.  There is an expected, and, frankly, un-achievable, ideal “look” that we must work towards.  Lots of money is poured into this industry of beauty and the pursuit of feminine perfection. 

    Well, now I am saying to it all: F*#ck You!!  My body is not a project.  I look the way I look, and as long as I am healthy, then I am satisfied with my appearance.  In my current world, after being severely ill for 6 and a half months, being healthy and strong in my body image is way more important to me than being glamorous.   

    In addition, I have had a shift over the last few months as to how I identify in my beauty image.  I would now say that I am more of an androgenous female than a typical cis-gendered female.  Some days I am glammed up and girly, while other days I feel comfortable in flannel, jeans, and winter boots.  The identity of androgyny allows for this flexibility, being somewhere in the middle, neither feminine nor masculine.  My studies at university allowed me to gain more exposure to the differing worlds of gender identity, and, after writing a paper on androgyny, I felt so much more connected to my true self. 

    I’m beginning to wonder why I have been spending the last 20 or so years trying to be thin and cute.  Why have I cared what society thought of me?  The dream of being the perfect model from the pages of a women’s magazine or following the latest wellness trend has not been making me healthier or more beautiful, it has been killing me.  As one of my friends said to me recently regarding the weight-loss drug craze, “It seems to be a sickness in our society that is unique to America.”  I am grateful for her honest assessment, and I could not agree more.  American wellness culture, and the corresponding products and medications that feed the system with millions of dollars, just harm the very humans they claim to be aiding. 

    So, I am choosing to be free from the trap of twisting myself up-side down to meet the societal beauty standards.  I encourage you to free yourself as well!  Wherever you are on the body-image road, whether you are struggling with disordered eating, or you are struggling with the pursuit of the wellness community, coined often as orthorexia, I invite you to take a moment to pause.  Think about what your goals are with your appearance and resulting health.  Are you simply chasing an impossible beauty standard?  Or are you investing heavily in a financial way to bring about a drastic figure change?  The only investment that I now believe is honestly worth it, and will bring about the most joy, is the time and energy to be healthy, happy, and authentically YOU!!  There is no reason to conform to any other standard or request from an industry that will not pay you back.   

    These revelations have taken me years to reach!  From wandering hospital hallways with a feeding tube up my nose to over-exercising, to starving and to binging, I have finally arrived at a moment of peace.  Just be where your body desires and forget what America might think.  You will be surprised how much mental room will be created in your head when you let go, and how much room in your wallet you will discover.  Bodies are meant to be all different shapes and sizes.  Food is meant to be joyful and shared, bringing friends and family together.  Exercise is meant to destress and strengthen, without pushing too far.  Try out a few of my radical ideas and see how much tension in your life will lift.  I hope my years of pain can be turned into something helpful for others.   

    To conclude, I would like to provide you with an example from my own life.  While I have been ill recently, I was told repeatedly by my doctors to be on bedrest.  But I kept pushing to be active and exercise, because I was afraid of gaining too much weight while “lying around being sick.”  Finally, I basically collapsed into my own bed and rested for 2 weeks.  I purposefully lay around, watched Netflix, and ate high-calorie and high-protein foods to strengthen my body which was hard at work fighting a serious infection.  Finally, after 2 weeks in bed, I emerged for a 1-mile walk.  Then, I rested.  Next, a 2-mile walk.  Then, I rested.  Testing the waters slowly to see how much exercise I could build up to.  I continued to eat whatever I wanted, especially if it was high in calories.  None of this was done with losing weight in mind.  Rather, I was hoping to gain weight, and re-grow some of my once thick curly hair and beautiful nails.   

    Take my words to heart, readers, and do not learn the hard way as I have.  Listen to your doctors regarding health and rest.  Do not put the demands of the un-healthy “wellness” industry first.  Get quiet within, listen to what your body needs, and act accordingly.  Beauty is fleeting, but longevity and happiness are true goals to live by.  With that advice, I wish you blessings and peace in your journeys.  Love, G. 

  • Gratitude on my 39th Birthday

    Today is my 39th birthday, and, appropriately, the 30th blog entry of The Ladybug.  Wow, my last year of my 30’s has arrived! I have some reflections.  My first and initial reaction is: how the fuck did time pass so quickly?!  I thought I was just barely learning to be an adult and now I think I am officially a grown-up!  I live independently in my own apartment and manage my own money and drive my own car.  However, that said, I still need a lot of support to cope with this thing called life, as we all do.  It takes a village. None of us can exist alone in a vacuum, especially if you are an extrovert like me.  I am fortunate and blessed to have many good friends and loving family connections.  In addition, I receive excellent professional care for my struggles.  What I want to convey most in this post is how grateful I am for the beautiful life God has granted me!!  

    In honor of the gorgeous sunny fall day that has greeted me on my birthday, I want to share a top 5 gratitude list: 

    1: God is Good!  My faith is the most important thing in my life.  No matter how badly life seems to be going, I know that God will not abandon me.  I firmly believe that God loves me and works all things for my good (Romans 8:28).  I never have to fear, because in the end it will all be okay, and if it is not okay, then it is not the end. God has the ultimate control.  This belief set allows me to face every difficulty in my life, and we all know that life is not always easy.  May you, reader, be blessed, no matter what you are facing.  God is Good. 

    2: Love is a blessing.  While my romantic endeavors have never been super successful, which I do not plan to discuss in this blog, I have never had any lack of love in my life.  Love can come from many different places.  For example, my parents have raised me in a loving and supportive home.  My friends always rally around me when life is hard and make me laugh when life is good.  My extended family is kind and generous.  I could not ask for more love.  It is truly all around me! (Aww, so corny!)  

    3: I have always been blessed to have my basic needs met, including food, clean water, medical care, and shelter.  This is not the case for so many others in our country and across the world.  I know that leaner times are coming due to the direction of our current leadership in America, but I am still grateful.  I feel a deep connection to the homeless and to those in prisons because I have never known that pain.  I have been spared many heartaches.  Everyone suffers in this life; however, the degree of suffering varies.  I’m aware that my trials have been limited.   

    4: I have been exposed to the arts in a meaningful way.  I love watching ballet and listening to all forms of music.  In the past, I have experimented with creating paintings and collages.  Photography has always been a passion of mine, and I still enjoy capturing as many photos as possible.  Singing along to a favorite tune lifts my heart when I feel blue.  Visiting art museums and experiencing the genius of others has been a true gift.  Plays and film are also other art forms that I enjoy.  It is a true luxury to watch many differing movies, TV shows, and live theater performances.  Creativity is a beautiful expression of the human experience. 

    5: Writing.  Whether journaling, blogging, or working on my surprise project, writing feeds my soul in a special way.  In addition, I have been blessed to attend more than one university and to learn to improve my writing.  I dream of one day becoming a successful published author.  Let us not also forget the luxury of being able to read.  Many around the world, and in the USA, are illiterate, even if they do wish to read.  Writing and reading are blessings that I hope to remember to never take for granted.  In this theme, I would like to offer some advice: read a banned book while you still can!  There is an attack on works of quality literature now, and I feel compelled to urge all of my readers to use your minds and rebel!  That is my act of political defiance for the day!  

    As I turn the corner from “young adult” to “middle age,” I feel so much more confident in my own skin.  I know what I want, and I will not tolerate BS from anyone.  I have become a successful self-advocate, which is a crucial skill when one has physical and mental health issues like I experience.  Never be afraid to stand up for yourself!  I still have a way to go with my self-esteem and self-confidence, but both are in much better paces than when I turned 29 years old.  One final piece of advice from me to you: do not be afraid to seek help.  It may mean the difference between misery and survival.  More than that, life should be about thriving, not barely hanging on and surviving.  So, find a way to thrive, even if things feel messy.  Choose one small thing to accomplish and do it well.  Life is precious and fleeting, live it up!  And, of course, my favorite phrase to say, NEVER give up!!  Happy Birthday to me and thank you to all my readers for allowing me into your thoughts.  May you thrive and be happy!  With Peace, G. 

    PS This photo is me at home today, casual and relaxed at 39!

  • New Announcement: Business Creation Day 

    Today was an important day in my new writing career.  I have now created a business account for The Ladybug, my blog, with a new version of Microsoft Word.  I feel a certain sense of pride, as if I have done some serious adulting.  My blog is still in its early stages, with this 29th entry, as well as my bio, but the joy I find in creating it has me committed for the long-haul.  Originally, I viewed the blog as a place to combine religion and politics first and foremost.  I felt a special interest in these topics as a pastor’s daughter and as a self-proclaimed progressive Christian.  However, I have found that writing about my personal life has become interesting and never-ending.   

    My health has been a huge struggle in my life for the last 6 months, both physically and mentally, after a tick-borne illness diagnosis in April 2025.  I had to take an “Incomplete,” grade in my college course, and take to my bed or my parents’ couch for weeks on end.  My blog, The Ladybug, has remained one of the only outlets left for me to achieve in. Due to cognitive changes from the illness, such as intense mental fog and confusion, schoolwork and other creative pursuits fell by the wayside.  But I could write!!  

    Which brings me to this article.  My computer no longer had a viable source of Microsoft Word as of a few days ago.  I had to choose whether to invest in myself and my crazy typing, or to give up and admit that maybe the cards were stacked against me…not a chance!  Instead, I am doubling down on my efforts to bring unique stories and opinions about this multi-faceted thing we call life to The Ladybug and my readers.  I consider no topic to be “off-limits.”  There will still be politics and religion involved, especially given the times we are living in and current news stories.  However, I will now include an even wider repertoire of posts.  I also would welcome messages from my readers about ideas you would like me to write on.  The sky is the limit!  You can message me through Facebook (Gaelle McLoud), Instagram (@gaellemcloud), or WordPress.com where I post The Ladybug.   

    In addition, I have another project in the works that I hope to share soon.  It is a writing journey that I have been on for 12 years now, and it is still not finished!  But…shh…more on that when the time is right.  God is Good, and I have found that even in the darkest times, He can lift me up!  My writing has always been a gift to me, and now a passion I get to give to others.  I hope you enjoy it! 

    I’m doubly excited to share this change with all of you and look forward to feedback!  And a reminder that you can directly link to my blog by following www.theladybug86.com  

    Blessings, wonderful readers!  The best is yet to come! G. 

  • Perfectionism Part 2: My Truth and 10 Coping Skills for Depression

    I like to ask myself the question: How is it with my soul?  This is not a phrase unique to me, but one that I have heard from many religious leaders throughout my life.  Unfortunately, the truth of the answer to that question in my life is often messy.  Life is tough, and I find that there seems to always be a struggle.  However, there is another question I frequently ask myself that goes along with the first one: How do I want to appear on social media?  I VERY rarely tell the truth of the answer to question 1 when I consider the answer to question 2.  Social media seems to be too often a place for me to hide and deceive, rather than to be honest and raw.  No one sees the scars.  No one sees anything wrong.  I am perfect. 

                Well, today I want to pull the curtain back slightly and discuss a topic close to my heart which is mental health.  Yesterday, October 10th, was #Worldmentalhealthday and while I posted a nice photo and cute caption to my Instagram and Facebook accounts, I really was not sharing much.  Mental health has been a struggle for me since I was quite young, but the stigma surrounding it has often stopped me from dialoging openly about my experiences.  As I have shared on The Ladybug, my blog, I have been ill with a physical disease from a tick bite since mid-April 2025, and the journey to recovery has been a rough one.  What I have not said is the way this disease has changed my mental abilities.  Let’s talk about it.

                I have become extremely anxious and much more depressed since I got sick in April.  In addition, I have horrible bouts of brain fog and cognitive confusion that make it difficult for me to do my college schoolwork and do it well.  For the sake of this blog, I want to focus on talking about my depression.  I am extremely sensitive to medications for depression, and so, unfortunately, that line of treatment is unavailable to me.  I must rely mainly on lifestyle changes and coping skills learned in therapy to treat the symptoms.  This is very difficult.  I wish so much that there was a magic cure for the darkness that creeps into my mind.  I must thank my parents who have been Super supportive throughout my struggle, and my friends who have prayed for me.  God is Good, and I am not alone.

                While acknowledging the deep pain of difficult to treat depression, I also want to focus on all the many ways to attack this mental illness.  Here are some of the ways that I have been coping:

    1. Talking to a professional therapist and psychiatrist.  It is helpful for me to have an objective professional hear me discuss what is happening and support me with cognitive behavioral therapy sessions.  In addition, I see a Nurse Practitioner for extra support.
    2. Taking time to study the Bible and connect with God while journaling and listening to music.  This is my “Spirit Time,” and it sustains my soul with the light I need.
    3. Walks with the family dog outside in the sunlight, preferably through the woods.  Nature combined with gentle exercise can be quite healing.
    4. Looking at a relaxing magazine or loosing myself in a funny light-hearted book.  This changes my mental scenery.
    5. Not going on social media too much, and only remaining on sites that support my soul.  For example, I love ballet posts on Instagram, as well as inspirational Christian posts.
    6. Trying to keep eating and hydrating.  I tend to stop eating when I am depressed, and good nutrition is crucial.  In addition, staying sober, and only drinking favorite things like black coffee and matcha lattes is important!
    7. Talking!  I must not loose contact with those who love me!  I know I am not alone, and friendship and family, including church family, is a lovely tonic. 
    8. Writing.  You, readers, are a support for me as well, even if you did not know it.  I find a great deal of purpose through my writing, and typing away my crazy thoughts on The Ladybug, or the book I am currently writing, is quite meaningful.
    9. NEVER GIVE UP!!!  Putting that on repeat. NEVER GIVE UP!!!  Amen!
    10. Take it 5 minutes at a time when things get bad; every 24 hours is a victory!

    It was helpful for me to review these skills as I typed, and my hope is to help others. 

    My social media platforms show smiles non-stop, but I want those who struggle to know that it is okay not to be perfect, because I certainly am not!!  I have deeper thoughts and deeper pain that is a real and sometimes everyday burden.  You are not alone.  God is an ever-present help, just ask! 

    I also want to share that if someone is reading this and feels in crisis, please call 988, the national hotline.  Or visit www.afsp.org  

    The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is a great resource for support!!

    Blessings my friends! Thank you for sharing the truth with me. G.

  • Perfectionism Part 1: The Church and its Influence

    I am a pastor’s daughter.  Let’s say that again with emphasis: I am a Pastor’s Daughter!!  Why does this matter?  I began addressing this topic in the, “Gaelle’s World,” section of my blog, The Ladybug, but I felt it deserved a full entry.  Being raised in the church, with Christian values, has placed a certain amount of pressure on me.  I do NOT at all blame my parents for this pressure, as it came primarily from church members, and was not something my parents instilled in me.  Nevertheless, being a pastor’s daughter is one reason that I have struggled with perfectionism from a very young age.  There are, of course, other contributors to perfectionism in my personality, but let’s start with the church.  This will be a three-part series in which I will cover the topic of perfectionism fully.  Stay tuned!!

                So, what do I mean by “The church?”  I am discussing the Christian church as a global whole for now, not a specific congregation that I have belonged to.  My parents are left-leaning politically, and raised me with primarily liberal values.  I was not brought up in a Christian Nationalist home or with any other type of conservative Christian theology.  However, I still felt suppressed by the comments and expectations of the members of my father’s churches.  For example, my clothing decisions, how I dyed my hair, the extra-curricular activities I did with my friends, the partners I chose to date, and even my sexuality felt critiqued.  My Dad was a pastor for The United Church of Christ, a relatively liberal Christian denomination, but I still felt pressure.  When I dyed my hair blue, I was told by a church-goer that it looked, “immature.”  I was only 14 years old! 

                Fast forward, and I have struggled to carve out my own comfortable church alliances as an adult because the Christian Nationalists have taken over so much of what is identified as “Christian” in the USA.  I now identify myself as a “Progressive Christian” every time I am asked about my faith, just to make sure that I am implying my beliefs correctly.  I am extremely liberal politically, and yet still feel that Jesus is my Lord.  Those two identities seem to be in conflict currently.  However, my perfectionism battle is finally feeling much better.  At 38, almost 39 years old, I am confident in ways that were missing during my childhood and 20’s.  When I was younger, The Church, and all the pressure and comments got to me in a way that no longer matters now.  I am so much more comfortable with myself, and I feel close to God in the way I understand Him as my Father and Protector. 

                Make no mistake, the pressure is still there in this country to conform to a perfect “Stepford wife” way of life if you are a Christian.  But, Nope, Not me!!  I will not dye my hair bleach blonde, put in extensions, wear barbie clothes, get my lips plumped, my breasts enhanced, and my hips shrunk.  Money does not rule my mind.  I’d rather be poor and be right with God then cave to The Christian Nationalist’s female ideal that wealthy men in right-wing conservative roles of power marry.  And, yes, that is a dig at Donald Trump, and he will probably sue me for insulting him and his cronies.  My battle cry these days is: Be myself and Be Free!  No perfect image to fit into for a perfect church going girl.  My true friends in Christ love me for me, and I accept my flat chest and chestnut/greying hair just fine.  God is perfect, I do not need to be.  I encourage you to find a church that supports you and loves you for all your little quirks.  Jesus preached love, let us spread it among one another!

                To be continued…

                With Blessings and Freedom, G. 

    PS If this topic stirs up your feelings with controversy, yay!  I am hoping to encourage you to think about your beliefs and question our current status quo in America.  Let me here your thoughts in the comments!

  • Once a Barn Girl, Always a Barn Girl

    As the seasons begin to change and the “ber” months arrive (September, October, etc.) I am thrilled with the cooler crisper air.  As a person living in New England, I relish the colder times of year.  For me, summer is my least favorite time, as my body struggles with the heat due to my chronic illnesses.  In the fall/winter months, I feel refreshed again.  I enjoy the holidays, as well as my birthday and those of my parents, which all fall in these months.  While I understand that some people detest the cold, I feel that I was prepped to cope with it in a special way while growing up. 

                            You see, I am a barn girl.  Completely and totally horse crazy.  I inherited this trait from my grandmother on my dad’s side, who was “half-horse.”  I began riding her horses when I was 3 years old and continued to be a “barn-rat” until age 23.  Unfortunately, both my health problems and my financial situation do not allow for me to interact with horses on a regular basis today, but I try to live out the important lessons from the barn in everyday life.

                            For example, the barn made me tough and yet gentle in important ways.  First, I became tough due to pushing my physical stamina to perform demanding tasks in all kinds of weather conditions.  From mucking out horse stalls, lifting hay bales, carrying water buckets, and turning out horses in extreme heat or freezing cold, my body had to adapt.  In addition, I worked as a groom at horse shows, polishing the horse’s coat and body until it shined as it competed at top levels.  The groom should support both horse and rider to do their best during competition, with no detail going unnoticed.  I also learned to braid manes for competitive horses, which was an art form.

                            Being gentle is also an important aspect of working with horses.  One must first and foremost remember that horses are beautiful precious animals that are to be always respected!  Never take your frustrations out on the horse!  A horse can be your best friend, and each one has its own personality and little quirks and traits.  You must learn to work alongside each horse with tender care, and you will be rewarded with the bond that is formed between you and that noble animal.  I absolutely found that the grueling physical labor of riding, barn work, and grooming was worth it due to the happiness of being in contact with horses as much as possible!  Some of the most joyous times of my life have been spent in a cold barn snuggled up to a gentle giant. 

                            Today, I am no longer in constant contact with horses, but I follow the professional sport on Facebook and Instagram.  I follow jumping, dressage, and eventing, as well as some equine therapy practices.  I enjoy seeing the incredible range of sport that horses can be trained to do, so long as they are handled properly and treated with the respect they deserve.  In addition, I visit horse rescue barns on occasion so that I may fill my nose with the wonderful smell of horse!  Being a barn girl taught me a form of endurance and resilience that has equipped me to handle difficult situations my whole life long.  The phrase “Once a barn girl, always a barn girl” is no joke!  When I face something tough, my barn girl days have provided me with the inner reserves to stop and say, “How would barn Gaelle handle this?”  There is always a do-able solution.  I hope horses are in my future in an even greater capacity, but for now, my precious memories and early training are enough to give me a firm foundation to stand on.

                            Thank you to all those who made barn girl Gaelle a reality, you know who you are!!  I will go forward with strength and perseverance!

                            With Gentle Toughness, G.

               PS The first photo is me with a draft horse at a rescue barn.

         The second photo is me with my parents’ dog walking on a recent chill morning in what my dad called my “barn girl” fashion.

  • Walking for a Cause: Upcoming Challenge

    Hello Readers!  Welcome to my Fall 2025 walking challenge for a Great cause!  If you have been following The Ladybug, you may know that I love to spend time in nature and walk for exercise.  Recently, this aspect of my life has become difficult due to illness.  However, I am determined to be resilient!  I have been re-building my endurance slowly but steadily with joyful movement.  The upcoming fall weather is my favorite time of year to enjoy nature, and every little walk outside is progress.

                Today, I joined the Faith Warriors Team to participate in the Out of the Darkness Central Massachusetts Walk to benefit The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP).  This organization is a cause dear to my heart, as I have struggled with mental illness personally.  There were times in my life when I contemplated giving up, and I am so grateful that I am still alive!  Through the assistance of family, friends, and professionals, I lead a beautiful life today!  The AFSP offers support to those who struggle with suicidal ideation, as well as their families and the families of loved ones lost to suicide.  In my case, I have also found my faith in God to be a healing and strong influence on my mental well-being. 

    I have used my blog, The Ladybug, to occasionally address more personal matters such as illness and recovery, and I hope that I may continue to inspire others to reflect on the positives and blessings in life.  I know that times are hard, which is even more of a reason to join and celebrate the little joys of everyday life.  If you feel so called, please follow the link below to my walk participation page and sponsor me.  All proceeds benefit the AFSP.  Let us see the beauty despite the darkness. 

    Sending Love to All, G.

    https://afspwalks.donordrive.com/participant/Gaelle-McLoud-2025